2015 Musings.

A new year. A fresh start. A new beginning. An unmotivated Amina. That's where I find myself these days. Just snapping photos of my feet and moping around my apartment. Thank the sweet baby Jesus that it snowed today because going anywhere except to get some lunchtime Chinese food in a few minutes is going to be impossible.

By the end of December, I had had enough of life. I'm not suicidal, don't worry mom - just tired. Exhausted, even. Ask anyone who has emailed me in the last three weeks if they got a response. You didn't. Unless I really

really

like you. So if you did get a response, interpret that email as a hug.

2014 was a crazy year. I started a bunch of new projects, met some amazing people, planned and executed an entire wedding, plus ran my business, did markets, worked to open and run a pop-up shop, launched my candle subscription service, had a new logo made, revitalized this blog and reorganized my entire apartment. It was a big, accomplishing year for me but I was definitely spread thin. I recently made a diagram of all the things in my life, all the projects I've been working on and it's too much. Something has to go or be done less, since I'm physically incapable of letting go of one of my babies.

I'm trying to take January to reflect on these things and make some big decisions. About where to take my business. Where to take my side projects. How to make more money. And how to save money so I can travel this year. Where do I see myself in five years? Where do I see myself in the next year? Can I have a baby in 10 years? Can I buy a condo in five years? Can I calm down and be present for a second? All of these things are what I'm working on this month.

If there is one thing that I have decided for 2015, though- it is that this will be the year of centering. Finding where I belong, what I am and stopping my impulsive startings. Brad says I'm a starter. He's a finisher. He will squeeze the last bit of toothpaste out of the tube for weeks on end, while I'll just rush off to Target and buy a fancy new tube that probably cost too much. This year, I'm trying to massage the things I have done. To be patient, to ground myself, to center. Wish me luck because I am a serial project starter. In fact, where is my new puzzle?